Category Archives: Community

Behavior, Community, Cultural Influences, Family, Parenting Tips, Psychology, Values and Morals

Parenting For A Better Community

Can you picture a community where parents have babysitting cooperatives? Or communities where businesses  give a “penny-a-purchase” to the community for child care  for those in need? Or a summer program where teens can  “hang out” and be available for odd jobs in the community?  Or where volunteers help tutor students? How about a  volunteer taxi service for the elderly that doesn’t just  run on Election Day? Could any of these ideas become  realities? Perhaps they may become necessities.

Communities can face increasing cuts in services  according to reports about the new proposed federal budget.  Just think what we could teach our kids with greater  commitment to community service.

Just think what we may  gain with greater cooperation with each other over common  causes?

Let’s face it, our culture has been pushing us towards  more individualism and isolation. Even now our government  continues to push us in this direction with the “ownership  society”. As we move in this direction, community services  shrink. That is where increasing cooperation between  community members comes in. If child care programs are  cut, for instance, communities will have to come up with  ways to fill the void.

What does this have to do with parenting? These  issues facing communities should be issues that concern  parents. A loss in services decreases supports to families  and makes family life more difficult – especially for those  who are not financially self sufficient. It is becoming a  necessity for parents to work for better communities. Here  are my suggestions to parents.

1. Parents need to break down barriers that lead to  isolation. Families need each other for support and  sharing of resources. If we all cloister in our own  homes, we will never achieve the necessary sense of  greater community.

2. TV and technology needs to be used more sparingly.  TV, Game boy, computer games, the Internet, Instant  Messaging and cell phones increase our isolation  from each other. How can we build community without  personal interaction? Young children don’t need  technology. They need best friends to play with –  and I mean interactive game play. As young kids  play together, bonds form between families – and a  community builds.

3. Families need to be involved in community activities.  Your involvement could be service oriented such as  working at a food pantry, or driving seniors to  the market. Through serving others, we receive  gratification for doing something good and our  children learn what it is like to give of themselves  to improve the situation of others in our community.

4. Parents need to recognize that each one of us will  have our turn to struggle. Few in our society are  so self sufficient that troubles with joblessness, loss of benefits, school problems and other family  struggles don’t rise up at some inoperative time.  Families should be open to give support to others and  to receive help when they need it.

5. Every community needs supportive services for  families. We cannot allow the push towards ownership  and individualism to continue to erode necessary community services. We need to push back and insist  that our government provide adequate supports to  schools, health care, child care, housing, police and  firefighting services that help keep our families  healthy and secure.

6. Parents need to raise their level of concern about  these issues to a new level. As parents we cannot  wait for further erosion of our schools or our health care system before we become aware and start taking an interest in these issues. These issues are tied to  family security for a majority of families. We, as  parents, have to break out of our isolated shells and  see where the trend is going. We need to teach our  children about the concern for greater community good  by expressing our interest in it.

So if you are interested in working on some of the  ideas I outlined above, get in contact with me or Stacy  Randall at Cape Ann Families. The time is now to work,  serve, and parent for a better community.

Behavior, Community, Cultural Influences, Diseases and Conditions, Parenting Tips, Psychology

Mental Health Crisis: What Can We Do

On a daily basis I am reminded that we are in the  midst of a mental health crisis with our children.  Pediatricians across the country and in Massachusetts are  seeing record numbers of mental health issues in children  and teenagers. Attention Deficit Disorder is on the rise.  Bipolar Disorder has increased in all age groups.  Depression and anxiety are also seen in dramatically higher  numbers. And that is only part of the crisis. Child  psychiatrists are in short supply. Psychologist’s  practices are full. And most recently, the medicines that  were in common use were restricted in use in children.  This situation was recognized in 2002 by the Bush  Administration’s New Freedom Commission on Mental Health.  The Commission concluded that the Mental Health system was  under funded and in “shambles”. Two years later the  situation is worse. What can we do about it?

It is time for all of us to recognize that there is a  crisis in mental health, particularly for children. Once  we recognize the problem perhaps we can try to make  government officials and health care insurers more  accountable to work towards a solution. We need more drug  treatment centers for teens and children. (Presently,  there are none for kids under 18!!) We need more child  psychiatrists and psychologists. (Currently it doesn’t pay  for people to do all the therapy needed.) Meanwhile we all  need to ask, “Why are we having so many mental health  issues in our children?” The answer may be difficult.  Perhaps as we ponder this question we can come up with  answers that may help children in the meantime. Here are  my suggestions.

1. From a young age we need our children to learn coping  skills. Kids need to learn how to handle their emotions.  recent Newsweek article suggested that our children  receive so much so easily in early years that they  have a hard time coping when things come harder when  they have to work for it themselves. Maybe this is true –  maybe not. Nonetheless, we need to help our children to  work through their own emotions early on so they know how  to do it themselves when they are older. Many times we, as  parents, try to move kids past their emotions. For example  when a pet dies we often replace that pet with a new one.  What we really need to do is let our children work through  their emotions on their loss of a pet. It is important for  kids to grow up learning that someone won’t always be there  to rescue them from their emotion.

2. We need to increase interaction with our children and  keep interacting with them as they grow. Turn off the TV  and the computer. Play games, go outside, and do things  together – young & old.

3. Teach our kids tolerance and inclusiveness. Not  everyone should fit into the well established molds  our society is creating. We need more than jocks and  cheerleaders. We need musicians, artists, dancers and  clowns. There is a diverse world of people with diverse  world of skills and living in a diverse world of color  and culture. We need to expect it and respect it so our  children do too. Then few children are isolated by “not  fitting in.”

4. Recognize our children’s real skills. Don’t push the  sports if your child really doesn’t like it or isn’t good  at it. Expose your child to a spectrum of activities.  Find their true interests and skills over time. Then help  them build their ego around it. Too many kids get hurt by  trying to fit into the molds society or parents are setting  for them. Let your child make his/her own mold.

5. Recognize the signs when your child isn’t coping. Is  your child isolated? Alone? Withdrawing? Is he or she  causing trouble in different sectors of his/her society?  Is there trouble at school? Is there trouble with friends?  Is your child giving up? Not caring for his/herself?  Recognize the signs and seek help early.

6. If you live in a home that suffers from some form of  abuse – seek help. There are organizations such as HAWK  that helps families in such situations. Even if you are  the abuser, seek help. I have had the experience where  an abusing father recognized his problem, sought help and  saved his family.

7. The mental health crisis is reaching too many corners  of our society. It is time for all of us to recognize  this so we can diminish any shame that prevents people  from getting help. We need to reach out and help when we  can. And we need to hold our children in safe, secure, and  positive places so their mental health has the best chance  of staying well.

Behavior, Community, Family, Homepage, Nutrition, Parenting Tips, Psychology

Managing Our Children’s Diets

By now most people in the U.S. recognize that there is an epidemic of obesity in our children. Statistically, the  percentage of overweight children has more than doubled  since the 1960’s. Along with that, we have seen an  increase in the number of kids with high blood pressure and  Type 2 diabetes. But what action have parents taken to  stem the tide of childhood obesity? What can they do?

Before I answer those questions I want to explain a  phenomenon that I have noticed in the majority of  overweight children that I see. The phenomenon I see has  to do with children’s growth curves. In kids who get  overweight, they are not overweight in the first few years  of life. Their growth curve changes direction and they  become overweight only when they take over control of their  own diet. When I ask about their diet I usually get the  same answers – they eat pizza, spaghetti, burgers, fries,  and few fruits and vegetables. So this is the answer to the question about what parents can do. Parents need to stay in  control of children’s diets even into late grade school.  Here’s how.

  1. Don’t pay attention to kids’ likes and dislikes. Children can choose to eat or not to eat. If  they don’t eat, they can wait until the next meal,  even if it is breakfast. Children won’t starve themselves. We don’t need to push them to eat  everything.
  2. Be a good example. This is an essential rule. Parents should choose the healthy meals.  If your kids don’t like it and won’t eat – that’s  ok. They need to learn to choose from the healthy  choices that you present. They need to earn the  right to have a choice in meals by eating good  foods first. Bring good foods into your home. You have the  power of the purse. Don’t buy the junk. If it’s  in your home they will eat it. Stay away from  packaged foods, fries and soda. Buy more fruits  and vegetables and make them accessible for taking.  Teach your children that you respect your body by what you put into it and they will learn to respect  their body too.
  3. Make some firm house rules. Once food is on the table, they cannot ask for something else.  Parents who are short order cooks end up feeding their kids what they want and not what they should have!
  4. Cut down on kid’s TV time. TV is clearly linked to kids diets. All kids want what they see on TV.
  5. Get out together for family fun. Bike rides, walks, hikes, or going to a park  are good for all families.
  6. As school starts, be aware of school lunches.  They are typically not too healthy. Make your kids lunches and add healthy snacks. At least you have control of what they bring to school. At first, much of it will come back home again.

The obesity problem in children is caused by lifestyle  choices made by families. It is rarely caused by thyroid  or other hormone issues. If we teach our children a  healthy lifestyle, that will be a lesson that can add years  onto their lives and take away years of suffering with  obesity related illnesses. Take control of their diet  when they are young. Hold onto that control during grade school. Show them other means of staying healthy through exercise and activity. You will all add years to your enjoyment of each other.

Community, Cultural Influences, Family, Values and Morals

Lessons From El Rancho Santa Fe

I have returned several times to a very special place  in Honduras. In the midst of the extreme poverty that  continues to haunt Honduras there is a refuge for children  called El Rancho Santa Fe. It is an orphanage for children  who have lost their parents run by the organization  Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos – Our Little Brothers and  Sisters. What makes this place so special is the love,  joy, caring and sharing that comes from these orphaned  children and those around them.

The orphanage is set up with the philosophy that these  children have suffered one great loss in their lives so the  orphanage will not let them have another. No child is  given up for adoption. They can have faith that the  orphanage is their home. They come to the orphanage to be  accepted into a family of 600 children. The orphanage is  run by Honduran staff and foreign volunteers. The ranch  takes these children from a period of abandonment to a life  of love.

The children are the story for this orphanage. Every  function is to improve the lives of the children. The  children have clean homes, clothes, good food, a school,  and access to health care. They are kept safe. They are  taught a work ethic that helps them value what they  contribute to the greater society. Even six and seven year  olds can be seen sweeping or cleaning without complaint.  They see around them a community where everyone  contributes.

The children are alive. Their eyes sparkle with joy  when they take your hand. They want to know your name and  want you to know theirs. You are immediately accepted into  their community. You cannot avoid being drawn into their  life by the affection they show.

They are thriving at this place. Many children  complete high school. They all learn a trade. Many go  onto university. Two are currently in medical school.  Such a success rate cannot be matched in many American  communities much less other impoverished Honduran  communities.

I have been to this orphanage three times to  volunteer. But my contributions pale in comparison to what  I receive from these orphans. The lessons are many. But  the biggest most obvious lesson is that when children are  provided with clothes, food, housing, a safe environment,  health care and education, they thrive. Of course they  need love and care. But when provided with those basic  needs, by loving people they find the love they need and  share it.

Each time I leave El Rancho Santa Fe, I leave with  sadness because of the love I feel there. Every visit  brings momentous sentimental memories that I cherish. I  wish more people could experience this and learn the  lessons about contribution to a greater social good. That  frame of mind is a much needed commodity in our society.  The changes needed in medicine today will only come when  people learn the lessons of El Rancho Santa Fe.

Behavior, Community, Cultural Influences, Family, Parenting Tips, Psychology

Is Our Culture Raising Your Child

It is startling how our culture is affecting our  children. When we talk about culture, we include different  facets of life exerting influence on society’s members.  Religion, art, traditions, and family habits and hobbies  should create an environment where children grow in a  culture of values. Today the greatest value that  influences our children’s development may be consumerism  stemming from the influence of TV & technology. This has  been recently outlined in the book “Born to Buy: The  Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture” by  Juliet Schor. In this book, Ms. Schor dissects the effects  of marketing to children. She shows how powerfully our  children have been commercialized and what negative  outcomes result. Ms. Schor points out that in our consumer  culture, our children are suffering more depression,  anxiety, low self esteem and psychosomatic complaints.  These troubling conclusions are based on Ms. Schor’s own  study of 300 fifth and sixth graders.

Other books also confirm our society’s effects on children  as consumers. In his book, Seven Habits of Highly  Effective Families, Steven Covey points out that there are  many differences in our culture now compared to forty to  fifty years ago. Fifty years ago, family life consisted  of one parent working outside the home, extended family  nearby, religion a part of their lives, low incidence of  violent crime, safe schools without discipline problems,  and a low influence of TV and technology. Today we  have a high divorce rate, 60% need of daycare, both  parents working out of the home by necessity, increased  violent crime, discipline problems in schools, distant  extended families, decreased influence of religion, and an  overwhelming influence of TV and technology. This change  in our culture is overwhelming! The key question is how  can families bring back their own culture while staving off  the harmful effects of our culture.

Here are some ideas.

  1. Establish continuous family traditions. We all may get  together as a family on Christmas and Thanksgiving. But  what about repetitive traditions like family meals together  around a table or a Sunday afternoon outing together as a  family. Family traditions establish a base from which our  kids can establish an identity. It is definitely time for  families to reestablish some foundation of traditions that  aren’t just once or twice a year.
  2. Increase time for personal interaction within the  family. Turn off the TV. Play games. Kids can learn a  lot from you but only if they are interacting
  3. Decrease use of technology at home. Technology is  taking over our culture. Limit its use so it doesn’t  interfere with family time.
  4. Discuss and think about religion. Every culture has  religion playing a role. Be open to discuss your views and  to hear your kid’s views on religion. However, even if  they are entitled to their opinion, you still have a right  to expose them to your religious beliefs.
  5. Practice art and art appreciation. No matter if you  are good or bad in art, kids need exposure to different  forms of art – and many programs are cut from schools.  Many museums have programs for kids and have open times for  families with kids. You don’t have to be good in art to  foster an interest and appreciation of art.
  6. Play music. Listen to different types of music. Seek  out plays and drama. Or in the least, appreciate some  classic good movies together.
  7. Enjoy our nature. Our natural surroundings are  beautiful and contribute greatly to our culture. Let your  kids know how our seaside setting has contributed to how we  lived in the past and how we live today.
  8. Decrease emphasis on consumerism. Don’t focus only  on certain brand names. And recognize that advertising  is having a tremendous effect on kids. Decrease their  exposure to it. Throw out those catalogs quickly and tune  out those commercials. With an increase in consciousness  toward the deluge of marketing towards our kids, perhaps  more parents can work to decrease its effect on the culture  in which our kids are growing.
Behavior, Community, Cultural Influences, Family, Parenting Tips, Psychology, Values and Morals

How to Stop Spoiling your Children

After traveling to developing countries and back, I am left with the impression that  American children seem to get everything they want. Two major news companies have  published reports about how children are dominating their parents. Even marketing  efforts have targeted children to influence big family purchases such as cars and  vacations. How do our children get so spoiled and what can we do about it?

There are two ways to spoil children. One way is to give anything and everything  they want. The other is by giving the child all the attention all the time – even when  they don’t deserve it. In both ways of spoiling, children learn to manipulate people.  They learn to get things or attention even without earning it. Spoiled children become  self centered and interested only in self satisfaction. They get fleeting satisfaction from  new things or by controlling the attention from their parents but never are truly happy or  satisfied. But there are ways to fight spoiling.

Parents need to distinguish between our children’s needs versus their wants. We  mistakenly give into our children’s desires thinking they can’t do without those things  they want. But they can!! Kids can actually get by with very little. I know. I have seen  it in action in the orphanage in Honduras. The orphanage director, my friend, Richard,  says that kids actually do better with the less “stuff” so long as they have food, shelter,  clothing and love. Obviously, our kids are exposed to so much it is natural to want things.  It is just important to know they don’t need everything that “everyone else gets”. Kids  really don’t need much to be happy.

If your child wants you to buy them everything, decrease exposure to advertising.  Throw away newspaper inserts and decrease exposure to TV commercials. Saying “no”  more often to their requests will decrease their demands on you over time.

If you have the monetary means to buy your children everything – don’t. Give  your child a way to earn things. Let them obtain enough by their own effort to buy things  for themselves. At least they will learn about earning and making good and bad  purchases.

Some children are spoiled by dominating their family’s attention. This manner of  spoiling promotes behaviors such as whining, tantruming and crying to get their way.  Parents need to learn that you don’t have to own every emotion your child throws at  you. Let them have their emotion and behavior after expressing some understanding. If  parents can learn to face behavior and emotion without giving substantial attention, their  children will learn to deal with these situations without dominating the attention and,  therefore, without being spoiled. Put more simply, whining, tantrums and crying to get  their way should never work for children.

Our children need to grow in environments that foster understanding of the world,  development of a good work ethic and a decreased sense of entitlement. These lessons  can only come if our children grow up without being spoiled. It is with spoiling that our  children grow up thinking that the world revolves around them. We must teach kids what  they can contribute to the world instead of what the world should be giving to them.

Behavior, Community, Family, Parenting Tips, Psychology

Handling the Aggresive Child

You bring your child to the playground and before too long you see him push another boy to get his turn at a steering wheel. You scold him but minutes later he pulls  a swing away from another child and pushes his way onto the swing. So you leave. On  other play dates you feel like you have to constantly police him from moment to moment  turns of aggression. You feel that your child is the bully of the group. What can you do?

It often takes parents by surprise that their child could be so aggressive. But  aggressive personalities exist in adults and children. We really shouldn’t be surprised by  natural aggressiveness in children. The real question is what to do about it.

Some aggressiveness in children is good. Aggressiveness in young children may  turn into determination in school or sports later on. Children especially boys are  naturally competitive. Young children do not know how to channel this competitiveness  with fairness. Fairness and equity has to be learned. We shouldn’t try to squash  aggressiveness. It needs direction and fine tuning.

Once we accept aggressiveness as natural we have a better perspective to guide  children. We cannot change their personalities. When we try, they fight it and we get  frustrated. What we can do is supply times, areas, and games that allow aggressiveness.  We need to correct them regularly for times that they are inappropriate. During those  times they may need to be pulled aside and isolated from the group or the play area.

If children are aggressive toward themselves by pulling their own hair, banging  their head or stomping their feet, ignore them. Don’t call undue attention to these  relatively mild forms of self aggression. However, if self aggression gets too harmful  with cuts, bruises, and other injuries seek some help or advice from a professional.

If your child smashes inanimate objects or throws things, take those away. He  may need to have a corner or another space to act out his aggression. He may need a  punching bag or a small trampoline to pound on. Showing a child what he can do with  his aggressiveness helps him channel those feelings.

Some kids need to have activities that help them express aggression. Many  different sports help children do this. The rules of the sport become a microcosm of the  world. So long as children have good sportsmanship role models (which can be hard to  come by sometimes) over time children learn what level of aggression is accepted  “within the rules of the game”. This can then transfer to the rules of life as well.

Patience is required. Perseverance is required as well. It takes both to teach  aggressive kids to be fair and appropriate. Young children will take years to have full  understanding of the rules.

Of course if a child is persistently aggressive in inappropriate places especially  outside the family with classmates or teammates, perhaps seeking help would be  advisable. But for most children aggressive behavior can be channeled into a virtue over  time. It all depends on whether they allow their aggressiveness to be managed and  directed or not.

Behavior, Community, Cultural Influences, Family, Parenting Tips, Psychology, Values and Morals

Getting Not Giving

I must confess. I am a pediatrician who dislikes Halloween. “How much candy did you get?” is a common refrain at the end of every Halloween evening. Kids spill out their treasure to see how much they got. They often separate their goods into piles – from favorite to least favorite candies. Of course, the least favorite are the ones that are dispensable to others. This ritual begins the “getting season”. Before the Halloween costumes are hung to dry, Christmas items are being hung on display in every store in the country. In this culture of getting, when do we squeeze in the lesson about giving?

The lesson about giving doesn’t start with  Thanksgiving that is for sure. Yes, people will give an  extra dollar at Shaw’s to buy a turkey for a needy family.  But Thanksgiving culminates at a meal where we sit and  overeat and get sleepy. I was struck recently when in a  store I saw the title page from Martha Stewart Living – A  Season of Plenty. I wasn’t sure whether we were supposed  to be thankful and appreciative or just happy we have so  much. So I return to my question. When do we squeeze in  the lesson about giving?

It is my opinion that we need to stop squeezing in  this lesson. This lesson of giving of oneself or of some  money or effort to a good cause should be a year round  lesson in all families. Let’s not spend Thanksgiving  giving ourselves self congratulating appreciation of what  we have. Starting this season, starting now get your  family participating in active projects of giving. The  biggest stumbling block is where to start. Here are a few  suggestions.

  1. Kids won’t want to instantaneously start in a project  of giving. It’s hard to force it on them. The first  thing parents need to do is get information about an  area where you may want your family to make an effort.
  2. Once you’ve chosen an area of concern (i.e. hunger)  find out about that issue in your area. Then provide  your children information about that issue.
  3. Parents should start working on the concern by  themselves. Let the children know why you are  interested in the work. Be clear about what you are  doing about it – no matter how small.
  4. Continue your commitment all year and be clear to your  kids that you have a long term commitment to help.
  5. After some time ask your kids to join you with your  commitment – even in small ways.
  6. Here are some ideas for families to contribute their  time. In the book, Parenting for Peace and Justice  by Kathleen and James McGinnis, the authors talk  about the “two feet” of Christian Service. On the  one foot there are acts for social change. These are  works of justice. Included in this are actions such  as helping to organize a good co-op, educating the  public on social needs, and even inspiring people to  get out and vote. The other foot of service is direct  service. These are works of mercy that include direct  volunteer work such as working in food and clothing  centers, visiting with the elderly, tutoring children  or contributing to known worthy causes. These are  some categories where families can contribute their  time and efforts. And there are many more. But how  can families get off the dime. Families need to start  somewhere. Locally people can help at the Open Door,  the Cape Ann Food pantry. They can contact Cape Ann  Families to look for opportunities to help. Schools  need people to help tutor and read to children, or  you can contact your town’s Senior Services to help  with the elderly. If you want a more worldly area  to contribute, sponsor a child at the orphanage in  Honduras. Check the website at www.nphhonduras.org.  If you want to contribute to the orphanage you can use  the website or contact me. Look into other world wide  organizations such as OXFAM, Doctors Without Borders,  or Habitat for Humanity. No matter where your efforts  take you, make sure your kids know what you’re doing  and where you are helping and why.

Even in small ways, families working together can help  develop a society of Givers and decrease our society of  Getters.

Behavior, Community, Family, Parenting Tips, Pre-Teen, Psychology, Teen

Empowering Our Kids To Succeed

Our children naturally express uncertainty in  themselves at various times during their childhood. We see  this when a kindergarten child appears worried in the first  few days of school or when a child is hesitant in their  first swim class. We may even see it in our “A” students  who come up with bellyaches. The immediate response from  most parents is to express sincere concern. Naturally, we  don’t want our children to be unhappy at school or afraid  to swim or fear failure. This can set up an interesting  dynamic between parent and child. By expressing  uncertainty, a child actually is asking a question to their  parents. Their uncertainty is natural and as parents we  should expect our children to express uncertainty in  themselves in new and old experiences. What they are  really doing is asking the parent, “Should I be worried?”  In a majority of cases there isn’t a cause for concern.  Kindergartens are safe and nurturing. Swim programs know  how to bring kids along at their pace; and “A” students  usually don’t flunk. It is interesting that in the dynamic  between child and parent, our reaction to our children’s  concern may actually decrease their success. If our child  is asking, “Should I be concerned?” and a parent expresses  undue worry, then the child may see the parent giving  credit to their uncertainty. The child may then become  more concerned instead of more relaxed. If we don’t  respond to their uncertainty by giving it too much  credence, we can actually empower our children to succeed  over their natural uncertainty. So how can parents face  these normal, natural, and common expressions of  uncertainty that come from our children?

First, you should always express confidence in your  children’s ability to face typical childhood challenges  such as new school years, camps and basic lessons. They  need to meet these challenges and few are hurt in the  trying.

Over time parents need to make a realistic assessment  of their child’s skills. It is not helpful for a father to  be pushing a child through baseball even though the child  keeps getting hit in the head trying to catch a ball.  There is an activity for everyone but finding one that  truly fits your child’s skills is the real trick of  parenting.

Expect them to succeed in their skilled areas. Have  faith in them once they have demonstrated skill and  interest.

Be clear on your expectations. Uphold the value in  always trying your best and always reward good efforts!

We should expect uncertainty from our children even in  areas that they are skilled in. Remember, even straight  “A” students experience uncertainty in their ability to  maintain good grades.

Don’t be overly sympathetic to feelings of  uncertainty, but express confidence and encourage their  effort.

Have faith that other adults who act as surrogates for  you will tell you if your child’s concerns are valid.  Engage them in dialogue on the side and get an objective  look at the situation. If they do not have any concerns,  both adults can work together to encourage your child to  succeed.

We have opportunities to empower our kids to succeed  when they, as children, naturally question their own  abilities. In fact, they are looking to simply see whether  we have faith in them. When they feel our faith, they  succeed.

Community, Family, Parenting Tips

Doing Nothing

Families today are so busy going from one activity to the next. We are so often “on the go” that our children  come to expect it. I find it to be commonly asked on the  weekends “What are we going to do today?” I wonder what  would happen if we said “Nothing.” “We are doing nothing today. We aren’t going anywhere, or doing anything we usually do. We‘re not even going to turn anything on. No, we aren’t even going to watch TV today. We are not turning the computer on either. We are doing nothing.”

Of course you wouldn’t end up doing nothing. You might just do something that you as a family don’t get to do. Doing nothing opens up a myriad of things that children’s creative minds can think of. You may start off doing nothing but soon might be reading a favorite book. Or nothing might evolve into doing an art project together.

In doing all that children are able to display their creativity and art skills. Some family games might need  their math skills. All the time of doing nothing together requires interactive skills. Children can develop a sense  of fairness and equity. Our kids might learn better sportsmanship at home from family members rather than from  some pro athlete. And being part of a family group builds children’s confidence for other interactive activities in  sports and school.

With all that can be accomplished in a day doing nothing together, it is a wonder that families don’t do nothing together more often. I have to stop writing now and go back to having some fun doing nothing.