I must confess. I am a pediatrician who dislikes Halloween. “How much candy did you get?” is a common refrain at the end of every Halloween evening. Kids spill out their treasure to see how much they got. They often separate their goods into piles – from favorite to least favorite candies. Of course, the least favorite are the ones that are dispensable to others. This ritual begins the “getting season”. Before the Halloween costumes are hung to dry, Christmas items are being hung on display in every store in the country. In this culture of getting, when do we squeeze in the lesson about giving?

The lesson about giving doesn’t start with  Thanksgiving that is for sure. Yes, people will give an  extra dollar at Shaw’s to buy a turkey for a needy family.  But Thanksgiving culminates at a meal where we sit and  overeat and get sleepy. I was struck recently when in a  store I saw the title page from Martha Stewart Living – A  Season of Plenty. I wasn’t sure whether we were supposed  to be thankful and appreciative or just happy we have so  much. So I return to my question. When do we squeeze in  the lesson about giving?

It is my opinion that we need to stop squeezing in  this lesson. This lesson of giving of oneself or of some  money or effort to a good cause should be a year round  lesson in all families. Let’s not spend Thanksgiving  giving ourselves self congratulating appreciation of what  we have. Starting this season, starting now get your  family participating in active projects of giving. The  biggest stumbling block is where to start. Here are a few  suggestions.

1. Kids won’t want to instantaneously start in a project  of giving. It’s hard to force it on them. The first  thing parents need to do is get information about an  area where you may want your family to make an effort.
2. Once you’ve chosen an area of concern (i.e. hunger)  find out about that issue in your area. Then provide  your children information about that issue.
3. Parents should start working on the concern by  themselves. Let the children know why you are  interested in the work. Be clear about what you are  doing about it – no matter how small.
4. Continue your commitment all year and be clear to your  kids that you have a long term commitment to help.
5. After some time ask your kids to join you with your  commitment – even in small ways.
6. Here are some ideas for families to contribute their  time. In the book, Parenting for Peace and Justice  by Kathleen and James McGinnis, the authors talk  about the “two feet” of Christian Service. On the  one foot there are acts for social change. These are  works of justice. Included in this are actions such  as helping to organize a good co-op, educating the  public on social needs, and even inspiring people to  get out and vote. The other foot of service is direct  service. These are works of mercy that include direct  volunteer work such as working in food and clothing  centers, visiting with the elderly, tutoring children  or contributing to known worthy causes. These are  some categories where families can contribute their  time and efforts. And there are many more. But how  can families get off the dime. Families need to start  somewhere. Locally people can help at the Open Door,  the Cape Ann Food pantry. They can contact Cape Ann  Families to look for opportunities to help. Schools  need people to help tutor and read to children, or  you can contact your town’s Senior Services to help  with the elderly. If you want a more worldly area  to contribute, sponsor a child at the orphanage in  Honduras. Check the website at www.nphhonduras.org.  If you want to contribute to the orphanage you can use  the website or contact me. Look into other world wide  organizations such as OXFAM, Doctors Without Borders,  or Habitat for Humanity. No matter where your efforts  take you, make sure your kids know what you’re doing  and where you are helping and why.

Even in small ways, families working together can help  develop a society of Givers and decrease our society of  Getters.