“Oh, this one is our rascal!” “We’re going to have to  watch him.” “He’s my climber.” “He’s a devil.” “He is so  mischievous.” “She’s our sneaky one.” “She’s going to put us  in an early grave.” “We’re going to have to keep our eyes on  her.” How often do parents throw labels at their children? Is  it warranted? Does it do any good or does it reinforce behavior  we don’t want?

It is fascinating to see kids explore. They want to use new  talents to climb on stools, chairs and stairs. They want to look  at interesting new objects especially those with lights or  sound. And they want to copy what we do with the things we use.  They are naturally curious. So when kids start climbing chairs  and stools to get to our things that are out of their reach, why  are we surprised? Likewise, the TV remote is of interest to us  so kids find it fascinating. Stereo systems and other  mechanical things provide satisfaction for a child’s curiosity  into the adult’s world. It is no fault of children that they  develop interest in all things adults use. Yet it is usually  when children get into our things that they get their labels. It  is the child who learns how to turn on the TV, or take cookies  from a cabinet, or who sneaks off with the bag of chips that  gets assigned the negative label. There are better ways to deal  with this then labeling your child.

Labels really serve no purpose unless they are to  complement a child. “You are our piano genius.” “You really  know how to find lost things.” But labels with a negative  connotation do two things. First they tend to stick around. We  remember negative labels easily. Secondly, labels reinforce the  behavior by giving it too much attention. Parents end up  fulfilling their own prophecy of their “rascal” child by  repeatedly pointing out their “rascally” behavior. It is a  decent goal in all families to avoid negative labels put on any  child no matter how young or how old.

Instead of labeling, parents need to set boundaries for  their children. “You cannot play with the remote.” We can also  work preventatively by hiding the remote or putting it out of  range for temptation. Take corrective action. “You found the  remote again, I’m going go put it on the highest shelf now.”  Parents have to expect children to be inquisitive and curious.  It is not evil to be that way. By correcting these behaviors in  simple ways, we can avoid labels. As we do this, we must  remember to praise the positive in our children. After all, it  is the positive labels we want them to associate with  themselves. So label the positive, and simply correct the  negative without too much emphasis and attention. Our kids will  learn what is positive in their actions and gravitate towards  more positive actions. This way he or she won’t learn to be  your “mischievous devil”.