“Mom, could that happen to me?” “Could I get asthma?” “Will you die next after grandpa?” “Will you be there when I  get out of school today?” How much reassuring can a mother do?  Why do some kids get more anxious and worried than others?

Anxious worried children exist. Of course, our  sensationalized news media does not help. But some kids are by  nature worriers. How can parents help?

First, it is important to recognize that some worry is  good. Everyone who succeeds in life succeeds because of their  ability to overcome worry to accomplish what they need to do.  People, who don’t worry, don’t push themselves to “fix” the  worry. Some level of “worry” is necessary in life unless you  don’t care about anything. (I have greater concern for those  who don’t care!)

Nevertheless, too much worry is not good. It causes stress  – that causes health issues. We can be so overcome with worry  that we become dysfunctional. So we do need to control our  anxieties and worries. What about your child worrier?

The first question is whether the worry is functional or  not? Is he or she succeeding in school? Is he or she passing  his worry off to you alone or do teachers and coaches see his  anxiety as well? If your child is doing well, you can probably  relax about his worries. If your child’s worries interfere with  school performance or his interaction with teachers and coaches,  seek some help. But the majority of kids don’t fall in this  category.

Most little worriers are just that. They worry. They  always have worried. And they will worry in the future. So  long as they continue to function well you won’t change that.  However, you can help decrease exposure to scary movies and  scary news. There is no reason to increase their reasons for  worry. Secondly, a lot of children just lack confidence. They  feel uncertain so they question how outside forces will affect  them. Much of their worries are questions and not real worries.

When we take on our child’s concern as part of a parent’s  package of worries, kids worry more. That’s right. By worrying  about our child’s worry we make them worry more. This is not  fair to us as well as them. “You do very well in school. I am  sure you will do your best on the math test.” “You may not be  the quarterback, but with your skill, there will be a place on  the team for you.” “Grandma was older and suffered her  illnesses for a long time. I’m afraid you’ll be stuck with me  for a while.” Off hand easy confident phrases work wonders for  kids. Some comedy helps too. But leave their worries for them.