Those thumb suckers, and nail biters and nose pickers, and knuckle crackers,  what are we to do with our kids and their bad habits. As parents we often feel  responsible for our children’s behaviors. Because of this feeling of responsibility we try  to take charge of our kids annoying habits. Unfortunately they have control of their  fingers and nails and knuckles. So the more we try to control these habits, the worse they  often become.

Parents need to recognize that we are not responsible for our children’s behaviors.

The problem with bad habits like nail biting is that these behaviors or actions are  directed towards themselves – not toward others. You cannot separate your children  from themselves or separate their nose, mouth, or fingers from them. Although  sometimes you may want to! Yet these habits are annoying to watch. Many parents can’t help but yelling “Stop biting your nails! Don’t you see what you are doing to your fingers? Your nails are dirty. Keep them out of your mouth.” Yet the temptation for  them is always there as is our temptation to correct them.

Some parents try the toxic route – Tabasco on the thumb for thumb suckers for  example. And some parents try the hiding method such as using gloves or wraps over the  hands as if by hiding the extremity the child will forget they have nails to bite or fingers  to suck. But somehow kids work around these “fixes” so they don’t work.

What parents can do is equate these habits to other body care issues that demand  privacy. Nail care, nose care and thumb sucking all can be done in privacy. In fact, we can make this a family policy. All nail biting, thumb sucking, knuckle cracking, and nose picking need to be done in privacy! Making these privacy or bathroom issues, changes the battle over whether they can do their bad habit to where they can do it. That is  something we can enforce. Over correcting and giving undue attention to these habits  often increases them. Demanding privacy for them at least diminishes what you see of  these bad habits over time. And when it comes to habits, out of sight – out of mind is a win – win policy for home peace.