Discussions Over Sex (Parenting Your Teen Part IV)

Perhaps the hardest part of parenting teens is discussing sexuality issues. Traditionally it is thought that parents  should have one “birds and bees” discussion with their teenager.

Forget “the talk”. There are many opportunities today to  discuss sex and your ethics about sexual issues. We have a  plethora of sexual exposures. We have news about sex and its results – pregnancy. Do I need to mention any stars who are or  were pregnant? Every movie portrays sex. Do you discuss this  with your kids? Many movies portray sex scenes without thought  of protection or safety. Do you mention your opinions on that?

Many media outlets portray sex too casually. Do you talk  about sex with intimacy to your kids?

There really is no excuse. We actually have a bombardment  of sex on TV, movies, and magazines. We must take opportunities  to tell kids quickly and freely how we feel about what we are  seeing. This is how kids learn about our sexual morals.

Sexuality is a personal choice that kids hide for a long  time. They need to develop their own feelings about sex and we,  as parents, need to respect their process of sexuality  development. Parents also should respect the options each  person has for sexual decisions and preferences. However,  discussions about safety, waiting, consequences and dangers of  sex should be open game from early adolescence on.

Our media, TV and movies provide us ample opportunity for  short bursts of discussions about consequences and safety. Take  those opportunities. Feel comfortable. Relax. You know the  issues. They do not. Throw out thoughts and opinions matter of  factly. This openness will serve you well over time. Imagine  if all kids heard messages from their parents consistently  through teen years about waiting as long as possible, being safe  when you start having sex, using protection, being respectful to  your partner, and being aware of the consequences and dangers.  The result of these messages heard from home is a population of  teens who initiate sex later, have fewer partners, and have  fewer pregnancies. What group of parents wouldn’t want that?