Teen years are certainly uncomfortable times for parents. One very uncomfortable time in parenting your teen is when you are asked to leave the exam room so that the doctor or nurse practitioner can talk to your child “privately”. What will your child and the clinician talk about? Will they talk about you? Will they tell you afterwards? Is this really necessary? After all, your daughter and you have a very “open” relationship!!
Step back for a minute and think about your teen for a moment. As hard as it is to be a parent of a teen, think how hard it is to be a teenager today. Does TV and the news media give teens good models to follow? Do movies provide good morals to follow? Of course your parenting and your modeling of behavior may be stellar. But can you trust that your child has not been influenced otherwise? Could there be an advantage for your teen to have a confidential relationship with a trusted adult? The answer is yes!
Having a professional clinician have private time with your child provides a moment for your teen to be free to express their concerns. I have had hundreds of experiences in the office where a mother tells me how “good” her daughter is and then her daughter tells me privately about her sexual activity. No, mothers do not always know! In these experiences I am able to help the teen confidentially get protection from STD’s and pregnancy. (Few people realize that all methods of contraception – birth control pills, Depo-Provera shots, nova rings, diaphragms, IUD’s etc. are safer medically for teens than pregnancy. Teen pregnancy has many health risks.)
Without confidential care, teens are on their own. Condoms and other over the counter birth control may be used, if they buy them! STD’s go uncared for and give greater health problems over time. And the risk of pregnancy grows higher than when teens have access to a confidential visit with a clinician.
Parents should encourage their teens to have a private time with their doctor or nurse practitioner. If your doctor doesn’t offer a confidential time – ask for it. If you have a doctor that won’t offer confidential care for your teen, change doctors. If your town has a school clinic, encourage your child to go there to have a relationship with the clinician for when his or her need arises.
Communities need to be open to having Department of Public Health clinics and other health clinics provide teenagers access to confidential care. Clinicians who are afraid to see teens privately, shouldn’t see teenagers. Clinicians also need to be educated in the Mature Minor laws that allow them to treat teenagers without parental consent.
Nationally, teen pregnancy rates are on the decline. However, there are communities north of Boston such as Gloucester and Lawrence that have an increasing rate of teen pregnancy. Parents and clinicians and clinics need to be aware of this problem in these areas. School committees should be open to their school clinics providing the full breadth of confidential health care and treatment that teens need. Open access to confidential health care for teens is perhaps the only way that these local epidemics will disappear.
Teenage years are scary times for parents. Having a trusted health care provider look out for your teen is one way to make the pressures of teen years a little bit easier for you. After all, you won’t have to be the only adult to worry and care for your teen. Your clinician will too!