“Everyone tells me to get rid of the bottle but . . .” “He loves his pacifier so much I can’t bring myself to get rid of it.” “I’d love to move him to a bed but he loves his crib.” “I’m worried about how  she will do going to kindergarten next year – she’s so attached to me.” “I’m afraid she’ll be calling me  daily from her dorm room. She’s never been away from home for more than a week.” No matter what  the new challenge is, why do we fear it?

I hear these statements from parents almost daily. We fear making changes in our young kids’ routines. We fear steps they have to take in their lives whether it is the first day of kindergarten or first  week at college. We express concern about how our kids will react. We doubt whether they are ready.

I jokingly tell parents that we should be saving for our children’s future therapy as much as we  save for their college. The fact is we need to challenge our children. How else can they progress? In  fact, our kids rise to the occasion time and again.

It is easy for us to bow to excuses. “It isn’t fair to get rid of the pacifier. She’s not feeling  well.” “It’s not the right time of year to change beds.” “She’s too young to go to this new school.”  “She’s always too tired, too emotional, too…. Besides, she likes it the way it is now. Why change the  routine.” If we continued with all the excuses we would have thousands of eighteen year olds in cribs  and with pacifiers.

Do not fear change. For the sake of our children we, the parents, need to embrace change.  Don’t fear challenging your children. When children see parents with confidence and determination,  they sense and incorporate that confidence and determination. They sense our confidence and get over  their obstacle. They skip off to kindergarten while behind our facade we want them to need us. If they  sense confidence our kids adapt and move forward. They forget the pacifiers, enjoy their new beds,  gain friendships in kindergarten, and call home less in college. All of this occurs with less trepidation  and less challenge than we anticipate. Kids are resilient. They develop. They mature. They surprise  us and make a life for themselves. All of that can occur with the most important gift we can give our  kids – faith and confidence in them. Challenge your children and have faith. It is amazing what they  can do.