A True Drug Prevention Program Begins At Home

The perils of drug use are taught in schools across the  country. DARE programs continue to be well funded in school.  Most kids I talk to at age 12 say alcohol & drugs are stupid and  that they will never use them. Yet our kids are still using  alcohol and drugs by 18 in numbers that distress families,  police, teachers and pediatricians. Experimentation is even  more common then chronic drug use. As our kids grow, alcohol  and drug use becomes the biggest fear for parents. The key  question is what is the common denominator for those who stay  off drugs.

There are many factors that contribute to drug prevention  in our teenagers. Knowledge of drugs and the toll they take is  only one factor, perhaps the smallest one. Kids are getting  that kind of education. But it is certainly not enough.

Knowledge of family history is another factor that families  tend not to talk about. Addictive behaviors to drugs and  alcohol are strongly inherited. Even though kids may not need  to know their parents experimentation history, (what we did in  college is irrelevant to today’s alcohol and drug environment  for many reasons), kids do need to know how many family members  are afflicted with alcohol and drug problems. If you have  breast cancer in the family, your daughter needs to know that.  If you have alcoholism in the family, all your kids need to know  that.

How we provide examples for partying is another factor. A  cavalier attitude to your own alcohol or drug use is a direct  permission slip to teens to try it out themselves. If you are  responsible to yourself, your body and to others who drink at  your house, your kids are more likely to mimic that behavior  over time. This is why there is less alcoholism in Italy where  the family dinner with a glass of wine is the norm for drinking  versus the U.S., England, and Australia where partying during  sport events are the norm.

Stress and pressure is another factor. This cannot always  be controlled especially in our society. It is just important  to note that stressful family times may result in greater  experimentation. Healthy outlets for stress are important to  cultivate so that kids learn that a good workout is better then  tying one on.

Even after covering all that, parents need to recognize  that the greatest factor in teens drug and alcohol use is their  perceived value of themselves. I am not talking just about ego  or pride. There are plenty of football stars, class presidents,  and cheerleader captains who crash and burn over drugs. Many  big drinkers have big egos. I am talking more of a sense of  true value. How is your teen valued by others? How much does  your teen feel valued and loved by you? I feel this is the key  factor in drug prevention.

Remember when your kids were two and you saved their lives  several times a day. You kept them from running in the street  or falling off the slide. You didn’t allow them to bike ride  around the block or separate too far from you in the  supermarket. You did this because you valued them. Well, teen  years are not the time to stop. Parents often say, “I love you”  in negative ways – by limiting freedom to keep our kids safe.  As we parent teens, we need to continue to set limits to keep  them safe. Supervision is important to prevent alcohol and drug  use. We must say “no” to underage drinking and unsupervised  parties. The key factor however, is to let them know why we  limit their freedom. We value and love them. We care about  their safety. Because we care and always will, it is the nature  of being a parent.

Yes, we need to educate our kids about drugs. Tell them  our family history. Be a good example. But we also need to  stay involved. We shouldn’t be overly reactive. We need to  respect their need for more freedom. Value them for who they  are and what they do. Respect their interests and acknowledge  their accomplishments. Be there to supervise and prevent their  experimentation as long as you can because you love them and you  care.