I am a sports fan and enjoy watching games like many  Americans. In October, I was thrilled when the Red Sox won  the World Series. I am enjoying the Patriots season, and am  interested in how the Celtics can rebuild. As I revel in  Boston’s great sports world, I have become very concerned  about the environment and what we are teaching kids about  sportsmanship.

Just think about the images of sportsmanship that were  on display in the last six months. During the playoffs and  World Series we saw objects thrown onto the field, police  in riot gear lining the stands, overzealous celebrations  leading to burning cars and a couple of deaths. No sooner  do we turn the page on that season when we witness NBA  players fighting with fans during a game. These are the  images that come to mind when you get away from the idea of  who won and focus just on sportsmanship.

We may want to rationalize our thoughts about  sportsmanship. I have heard phrases like, “well, a series  with the Yankees is always like that” or “what do you  expect, we haven’t won in 86 years” or “there always have  been bad examples of sportsmanship”.

But think about sportsmanship even at the high school  level. I have been embarrassed by some of the behavior of  parents in the stands at some high school games. We have  had murders caused by our “friendly” competitions between  rival towns. And on the field, some players have not  learned how to be good sports. Where can our children get  good examples of sportsmanship? How can we teach our kids  sportsmanship so the next generation of fans won’t be worse  than this one? Here are some suggestions.

1. Increase access to “pick up” games. These are games  where kids decide on the teams and referee themselves.  It is in these settings that kids have to set the  rules, be fair, and respect each player for their  worth. Perhaps some “leagues” should serve this role.  Get the coaches and parents out of the way and let the  kids learn through this valuable learning tool – pick  up games.

2. Parents and coaches need to recognize the diversity  of skills. Our culture of focusing on star players  demonstrates an overemphasis of personal athletic  prowess versus team play. All players should have a  role on the team. After all, that is how the Red Sox  and Patriots have won their championships!

3. Point out, criticize and punish displays of poor  sportsmanship – even by star players. Have the player  sit out a game. There should be clear rules for  sportsmanship on every team at every level. And those  rules need to be enforced. Many high schools have  players read and sign a sportsmanship pledge. Parents  should read it and agree to it as well.

4. Recognize, praise, and encourage displays of good  sportsmanship. Everyone likes it when you see an  opposing player help their opponent off the ground.  Good sportsman should receive high praise and rewards  at the end of every season.

5. Parents – Be Cool. Cheer your child on. But get  over the idea that your child’s accomplishments are a  reflection on you. Their accomplishments are theirs  – not yours. They don’t need to have extra pressure  from you to keep their level of accomplishment high.  They don’t need a second “coach” in the stands. It is  your child’s game to succeed or fail in. Be there to  share the joys or the sorrows. But please keep it in  perspective. It is their game not yours. Overzealous  parents are an embarrassment to the player and the  team.

6. Parents and coaches need to remember that it is only  a game. How we act towards the sport is the greatest  way for our children to learn sportsmanship.

7. Emphasize sportsmanship especially with rivalries.  I love the fact that we can have “United We Stand”  bumper stickers on our cars but don’t take this to  heart when our children are playing a rival town. We  all need to keep a perspective that we are united  despite having a rivalry. If both sides work on it we  could keep all rivalries “friendly”.

8. Competition is valuable. It teaches our kids to work  hard and earn what they receive. But sportsmanship is  more important than competition. Because if we don’t  learn sportsmanship, we as a society will never learn  to embrace peace.