Much attention has been given to handling a crying baby. But what about a crying child. I have heard people deal with crying children in inappropriate ways. I hear  phrases like “Stop your crying!” That phrase never helps. Other phrases are tossed around such as “If you don’t stop crying you’ll really get it!” Or finally I often hear, “Oh  just take it, you crybaby?”

When our children are babies we often have solutions  for crying. As children get older we become frustrated with our lack of control of our child’s cry. We can no  longer just feed, rock or console our child out of crying. Yet we want them to stop their crying. It is just human  nature to want crying to stop. But should our desire to  stop the crying govern our actions? Of course not. Everyone needs to realize the natural tendency to do, say  or give things to make crying stop. But we should refrain from doing those things. How should we respond to a crying  child?

First we must ask why the child is crying. Did they  miss out on getting something? Is there a disappointment they are facing? Were they physically hurt? Are they  angry? Emotionally hurt by a friend? We are the adults.  We can usually figure out why someone is crying. And if we  figure it out, we should explain that to the child so they  understand why they are crying.

Then we should put that reason for crying in  perspective. “Your hurt (pain) will go away. We all get  disappointed at times. Your friend hurt your feelings and  that is hard for anybody.” With this we can help with some  physical touch, pats on the back or hugs – whichever is  appropriate. By explaining the “Why” of the hurt and just  being there we have expressed understanding and empathy.  That is what a crying child needs.

The crying may not end after that but our job is not  to stop the crying. We need to squash that natural desire  to just get the crying over with! Many times we need to  let them cry. We should not excuse it. (Oh he’s just  tired). That dismisses any true emotion there is. We  should not reward it. (An ice cream will stop that crying.)