Wow! The number of twins we see these days! They are so adorable in their twin outfits, twin stroller and twin beds.  But, we don’t see all the work involved with twins when we see  them strolled through a store. Twins are a lot of work. How  can parents of twins handle things better at home? And what can  others do to help?

I asked these questions to several parents of twins and  they gave me their thoughts. First of all, many twins are more  likely to be born early. But this is ok. Most do very well in  the special care nursery. The first couple of weeks in the  hospital can give you more time to get ready at home. You can  get rested and recovered before having full responsibility for  your twins. Just recognize that it can be an emotional time  having newborns and can be disappointing that they don’t come  home with you. Their time in the special care nursery is very  important to their ultimate well being upon discharge. Don’t  push it. Let those wonderful people in special care get your  twins healthy and ready for your care at home. And remember  they may not be ready to go home at the same time.

If you, as the mother, had a C-section delivery, make sure  you have help at home. You need to recover and will need help  with the twins. Fathers can take time off and may use the  Family Medical Leave Act to get extra time.

Any family with twins needs extra hands at home. Use in-
laws, friends and other relatives to cook you meals, do your  shopping and clean your home. Swallow your pride and accept the  help. There is no badge for being macho about handling twins by  yourself. Your family members who are there to help, cook meals  and clean and do menial tasks. The parents need the time with  the twins. Everyone expects to help families by helping with  “the twins”. By doing other things at home you are helping the  twins and by keeping more hands off the twins you are helping  the twins. Let the parents, especially the mother, care for the  twins. Helpers should help support her work but not take it over.

Older children need extra support. Friends and family  members can really help here. Older children often get lost in  the shuffle between twin diaper changes. They need some  involvement but they also need some time with parents and others  giving them some special time.

With the newborn twins, try to keep things simple and  convenient. If one gets hungry, try to feed them both. It will  be best over time to get them on the same schedule. Keep their  beds and changing areas close to your bed. Late night changes  will be easier.

Most importantly, recognize that you’ll probably get half  of what you want to get done done. Don’t sweat it. Relax. Be  flexible.

At the same time be vocal. If you have too much help and  too many visitors, politely say so. Tell people to freeze a  meal for you and send it over next week so they have a way to  help without being in your way. Conversely, if you don’t have  enough help, call people. Families with twins, triplets and  other “multiples” need to have hands around the house. If you  don’t have enough, call in-laws or friends and have someone stay  for a while.

As the twins grow, make sure people know who is who. Refer  to them by their names. Tell people about their individual  skills and attributes. Take pictures together and separate.  Twins tend to be raised as an item. People ask, how are the  twins? Rather than how are John and Jake? From the beginning  these kids will have individual personalities and people need to  recognize their individuality.

Twins are great. They are adorable. They are challenging.