To parent teens well, we must start with a good base. Remember, teens rebel. They question. They explore. But by  late teen years they often return to the moral base their family  gave them. That moral base is what we give kids in their first  twelve years. How do we give them that base?

As kids grow we battle them over many issues. Can they  have a sleepover? Are the other parents aware? Will they be  home? That seems like a simple scenario. But as a parent you  know there are many scenarios like that one where we have to  face our children and make decisions for them. In all these  battles and decisions there are lessons. How much freedom do we  allow? How much trust has our child earned? How much respect  do we have for them? These questions are answered in our  decisions. And kids learn to earn respect and trust over time.

Many times kids need corrections for breaking rules and  breaking truth. Consequences need to be carried out so kids  learn limits. It is normal to have these events. We just need  to face them appropriately and justly.

Through these everyday decisions our kids learn about right  and wrong, and about what is safe and unsafe. This gives  children a basic morality that serves as their base for entering  the stormy teen years.

Parents need to set rules, have consequences, and say “no”  to their kids freewheeling desires. Many parents feel guilty  about setting limits. “Well, it seems like I am the only parent  worried about allowing this.” Rest assured. You are not.

Rules and limits show children we care about them. We want  them safe. We care about their health. We are trying to  protect them. Even if kids don’t like it, they at least  appreciate that you care.

One other important piece about providing a base for kids  for their teen years, parents need to recognize their children  for their skills and accomplishments. This recognition gives a  child a sense of what they are good at. Parents must recognize  and praise their children’s true skills. Combine this sense of  accomplishment and skill with ideas of safety and right and  wrong, and you have a child who has a solid base to start his  teen experiment.