“My tummy hurts”, “I have a headache”, “I’m not hungry”. I have heard these  complaints a thousand times a year. I have heard these complaints in Italy, Honduras,  and America. It is universal. Kids complain about body issues to their parents – and  to their doctors. But when is a complaint just a complaint and when is it a harbinger of  illness? “My tummy hurts” is a phrase all parents hear. Many times the child expresses  discomfort to their parents. Yet, the discomfort may mean many things to the child. It  could mean “I am full, or “hungry” or “I need to go to the bathroom”. Perhaps it means it  “hurts” in fleeting, temporary, crampy sort of way.

“I have a headache” surprises parents. People don’t believe kids should have  headaches. But they do and most are not troublesome. Most are easily treated with rest  or tylenol. Certainly time and attention helps too.

The complaint “I’m not hungry” often is followed by a series of questions. “Why, don’t  you feel well? Do you have a fever? Is your throat sore?” But perhaps the child just  doesn’t want to eat.

When children complain should parents and other caring adults be concerned? Is  something really wrong? Will they starve? Will they get sicker? Many children’s  complaints don’t need any action. Many only need patience and observation. Often a  little attention suffices to solve the problem. Sometimes that is the only thing the child  was after to begin with.

Of course, we as adults fear overlooking real illness. But we need not worry too much  with complaints alone. With real illness children demonstrate real evidence of illness.  A temperature may come. Cough, vomiting, diarrhea, ear pain or sore throats become  apparent. Rarely is a simple complaint evidence of illness without some corresponding  signs. It is when children are demonstrating a combination of factors (i.e. a complaint  of stomach ache and diarrhea and signs of dehydration) that medical advice should be  sought after. A complaint alone needs patience, love, time and keen observation.

Complaints that persist with regularity without physical signs may lead to other  questions. If complaints are during week days, is there a problem with school? Is  the child missing a lot of school? Are the complaints a manifestation of something  happening at school such as bullying? Could the complaints be part of stress at home?  Or could the complaints be evidence of anxiety or depression in the child?

We all hear complaints from children. It happens in all cultures and all countries.  What to do about complaints may not be as easy as a trip to the doctor’s office. When  children are truly physically ill, they’ll show us. It is the other complaints that take more  wisdom to discover the real cause. And there are many complaints that go away only  because of the love and care we show.